Homorial Day*

I’m just throwing this out there because I don’t think any blogs have the stones to report on this. Everyone is probably thinking it but because no one else is going to say it… allow me. This Memorial Day, 2009, I’d like to thank all the queers in the military, past and present.

Now let’s all go out cook up some BBQ, see some parades, put American flags on veteran’s graves and suck a dick or two**! 

I try not to get too political with my blog posts, but I’m going to break my legendary silence and say that the current  “don’t ask don’t tell” policy is outdated and needs to be abolished. If it is really America’s goal to bring democracy to the Middle East, I think it’s important that the military gays be outed so that the most important facet of democracy is exported to the Iraqi people. And what do I think is the most important puzzle piece of American democracy? Fashion, of course. And who knows fashion better than the cock smokers? So I say let’s get those Moslems out of robes and towel hats and into Ray Bans and ironic 80s t-shirts… queer eye for the terrorist guy style.  

*I’m pretty much reserving my place in hell for this. See you there and hopefully, I get a nice apartment down in hell between OJ Simpson and Charles Manson.

**I will not be sucking any dicks this Memorial day, but don’t let that stop you… cuz you know, support the troops, blah… blah… don’t let the terrorists win and never forget 9/11.

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~ by Rand McTally on May 24, 2009.

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