kittens inspired by $$$

Last September a little butterfly flapped it’s wings on YouTube and now it’s finally beginning to pour all over Internet. Arguably the most viewed video on Internet clogging up the tubes today is called “kittens inspired by kittens” (after the jump). I say arguably because Joaquin Phoenix’s batshit crazy, drug addled appearance (hoax) on Letterman last night is also lighting up the switchboards as well. When I first started writing this blog I promised myself and my readers that I wouldn’t post kitten videos because a) I’m mostly callous to “cute”,  b) artistic integrity, and c) I’m not a pre-pubescent girl. But today I am going to post this video because everybody else who is posting this video (people who find cat videos cute and pre-pubescent girls) all over Internet isn’t getting to the real story. Is everybody ready to get schooled in some hard knocks investigative Internet reporting? I know I am because I just bought a shit-ton of polish that I’m going to need to keep my Nobel prize nice and shiny.

Here’s the video you guys:

Fair warning to everyone, set your email filters to block out anything with “FWD: cute kid and kittens” right now because your Mom just saw this video and she thought of you while watching this and is sending this to you and all your relatives right now.

Hey kids, who wants Dairy Queen?

Hey kids, who wants Dairy Queen?

So, where is this great investigative reporting I promised? Well, it’s just below the surface and it has a name. It’s name is YouTube user blakekelly0. That’s right the original poster of this video is the culprit and offender of one of the greatest crimes perpetrated by parents, the exploitation of your own children. This video is obviously going to land this cute little girl her own sitcom on the FOX network and end up like Gary Coleman she’ll being spit out of the industry bankrupt and addicted to Percodans. And who will be left laughing after the million dollar bank deposits in their name? Blakekelly0.

We’ve all seen this happen before. Parents wasted all their own potential slaving away to the corporate office job and wishing for a better life they turn to their children and make them dance like monkeys all over the stage for our media consumption and enjoyment. Don’t believe me? Look at blakekell0’s YouTube page. All the videos star this user’s children. They might as well have chosen the user name “PleaseSignOurKidsToASitcom!” because that’s all I see when they look at their page. This is the blueprint of how to exploit children. Actually, this is the blueprint on how to exploit children:

  1. Have children
  2. Buy video camera and sign up for a YouTube
  3. ???
  4. Profit!

Well, I for one, am not going to stand for this. Childhood is sacred and a very fragile time in a person’s life, I mean, potty training alone can either make or break a person in this work-a-day corporate world. So, I’m either 100% right that these children are being exploited by their parents or Internet has finally found a way to replace wallet pictures of your children as the new *groan*.


~ by Rand McTally on February 12, 2009.

2 Responses to “kittens inspired by $$$”

  1. it’s hard to tell whether Joaquin Phoenix was faking it or not during that Letterman interview, especially since he’s such a talented actor…

  2. Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

    Making Money $150 An Hour

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