A Letter To Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream

“Dear Ben or Jerry (or who knows, maybe you are both reading this together… if that’s the case I wonder who is reading to who or are you both reading it together aloud or silently),

First off, I want to tell you, I love ice cream AND I love rock ‘n’ roll. So every time I’m shopping for ice cream your brand is pretty much the obvious choice. You two must really love rock ‘n’ roll and ice cream too. What’s your favorite rock band? I bet it’s the Greatful Dead because Cherry Garcia is heavenly. My favorite rock band is The Who and I’m still waiting for the flavor “Keith ‘Blue’ Moon Ice Cream (don’t worry, I won’t charge you for the idea, just send free ice cream!).

I really don’t want to get into an argument with either of you but your cartons do say “satisfaction guaranteed or your money back”. Seriously?!? How can I live my rockin lifestyle by The Stone’s lyrics “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” and still have to pay for your ice cream? Logical conclusion, please send free ice cream OR money (to buy more ice cream).

Hope we die before we get too old,


~ by Rand McTally on January 22, 2009.

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